Of colleges and libraries
stick of enlightenment
shadowwraith99
You know, I've discovered something about libraries. 

There are, so far, two types of college library, and I think that their design says something about the nature of the college itself. 

At the first college I went to, the library was designed to be a safe place - a good place to work, a good place to relax, a good place to be period.  There was no coffee shop, but the cataloging system was organized and the library was a model of efficiency in most respects.  The tables were arranged among the shelves, making your study area isolated and ringed by protective rows of books.  The chairs were comfortable, and the entire library seemed to be put together so as to put you right in among the books you were looking at.  The college itself, by extension, was completely and totally safe.  You could leave your book bag in the library, go to lunch at the CUB, and expect to find your things untouched in the same spot you left them in at the library an hour later.  People were kind to each other, and the entire place made you feel as if you were detached from the world outside the campus boundaries, enclosed in a safe little bubble. 

The university I currently attend has a completely different feel.  The library building, while it is nicely designed, simply does not feel safe.  The computer desks make you want to guard your screen.  The books are all on one floor, and the tables are all right next to each other, so again, there is no sense of privacy or, by extension, safety.  There is a coffee shop, and it is perhaps the most comfortable place in the entire library.  The buildings loom overhead, and you have to walk fifteen minutes to get to your next destination.  The people are vaguely polite at best and clannish at worst.  It's too... busy.  Too many people coming and going, and I simply cannot bring myself to relax.  The technology is advanced, but there is no sense of community and certainly nothing welcoming about it.

(no subject)
Altair advice
shadowwraith99

What Is Your Battle Cry?

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Lo! Who is that, skulking through the hotel lobby! It is Shadowwraith99, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with an ominous cry, her voice cometh:

"I'm seriously going to brutalize you until Western Civilization implodes!!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

 
Not quite as epic as when I plugged in my other username, which yielded:

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Sprinting amidst the mini-mall parking lot, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Broken_Circle! And she gives a low cry:

"I'm going to fuck you into the fourth dimension, and hit you with a steamroller!"

Find out!
Enter username: <input ... >
Are you <input ... >a girl, or <input ... >a guy ?
<input ... >

created by beatings : powered by monkeys


Meditation and such
buggered if I know
shadowwraith99
So, I've been taking a class on Buddhism this semester, and the class involves learning how to meditate.  The only problem is that my ability to focus has been absolutely nil since the first day.  I'm not sure if it's the group setting, or my inability to get comfortable, or some innate lack of patience in me, but I have yet to experience a meditation session where I haven't become restless, irritated at myself, or a combination of all of the above.  This is rapidly becoming a point of frustration, since I used to be able to meditate quite successfully.  Maybe it''s the fact that I can't meditate with anyone talking, no matter how soothingly, and I can't seem to make myself like Buddhist doctrine.  I can't, for example, bring myself to cut off my connection with the living world and ignore all sound and sensation.  I have no desire to - that energy is like lifeblood to me, and to live without it would be profoundly strange. 

I've been accepted to George Washington University for the fall - now the question is how I will get there and whether or not I will chicken out at the unprecedented freedom and risk I will be taking. 

Tired and Sick and above all else hurting
Altair advice
shadowwraith99
I am so tired of war.  I am tired of people dying, I am tired of people hurting, I am tired of violence. 

I've never really been the type for mercy.  I grew from a pragmatic child into a pragmatic adult and I have never had much in the way of mercy, at least not when it comes to other sentient beings.  I have plenty of mercy for animals - animals don't hurt other animals for the fun of it mostly - unless of course we're talking about cats, and I don't really like cats.  I despise most of my own species.  It's a sad statement, but I hate my people.  They pollute, and they kill, and they do all of it without stopping to think about what they're doing.  They fear what they don't understand and their automatic reaction is to kill whatever they fear.  98% of them simply don't think the same way I do, and it is so very hard to reason with them.  All the same, though, I am sick of watching it all happen and doing nothing to prevent it.  

I'm only 21 and yet I feel like I've lived through a few dozen wars.  I felt that way at 18, too, and it hasn't gotten any better - I've just gotten a little easier to hurt somewhere along the way.  

My terrible horrible no good awful day
Altair advice
shadowwraith99
So, this is officially the Monday from hell, or it would be if I felt like getting upset.  As it happens, I am immune to the evil computer beast, because it has failed to take away the truly important things in life.  Like music.  And art.  Because I am an obsessive back-up freak. It was time to clean out my pictures anyway.  And let's face it - I didn't need my entire Itunes library.  I didn't listen to fifty percent of it anyway.  And that outline I was supposed to work on tonight?  Nah, I didn't need that either - I have it in hard copy downstairs and on my H drive at school.  So hah, computer - take that.  I do miss Adobe flash player and a few other applications, but I can live without them for a few days. 

In case you had not gotten what's happened from this rambling, my computer has seen fit to convert my Documents and Settings folder from a folder to a file.  It has locked me out of my administrator account and refused to let me open applications like Windows Office.  The crazy part of this is that I'm not half as angry as I thought I would be.  I'm more pissed off that the history department saw fit to cancel a class I was looking forward to.  Or that my keychain broke today.  The good news is that the computer will still start, meaning that I can access the internet, which is the important part of this equation.

fanfic meme gakked from lady_rhiyana
I move the stars for no one
shadowwraith99
1.) Is there another fanfiction writer you see as a rival?

Not really, no. I've never really considered fanfic as competitive sport.

2.) A writer that inspired you?


I think the writer who most inspired my later writing style was Lady Rhiyana, with a lot of help from Aragonite. 

3.) Do you have a favorite reviewer?

Not particularly, but if pressed I would say Seremela in the Star Wars fandom - she always has interesting things to say.

4.) What fandoms do you read/write for?

Hm. Well, I write HP, LotR, Star Wars, Stardust, Pirates of the Caribbean, and James Bond, as well as a few other smaller fandoms.  I would love to write something for Merlin, Green Rider, or Neverwhere, but I just haven't had any inspiration for those fandoms.

5.) Considering hits and reviews and feedback, what is your greatest work? And is your favorite work different from your greatest?

Definitely Faramir of Rohan - I haven't updated in over a year and yet it still dominates my review count.  My favorite work has to be either Twist of Fate or some of my assorted one-shots though.

6.) What is your favorite fanfiction of all time?

I would have to say either that there are just too many phenomenal stories for me to choose just one.  Greater Good, Lesser Evil and Bastard Malfoy by Lady Rhiyana, Moon Cursers by Aragonite, and Blood of Avalon by ellennar are among my favorites.
7.) Who is your favorite fanfiction writer?

There are so many of them in so many fandoms I can’t say.

8.) Ever read a fic you mourn for never being finished?

My own. Seriously, though, Black Vengeance, Blood of Avalon, Caught in the Game Again, Word Up, and Once Upon a Time all deserve to be finished.

9.) Ever experience sadness for finishing a long story?

No - sadly, all of my longer fics remain unfinished.

10.) A fic writer you have seen improve over time? 

I don’t know. If they don’t interest me the first time, I don’t read them again. Harsh but true.

11.) Do you think your writing has improved over time, or from early story to later story?

Oh, yes. All I have to do is look at Old Friends, Old Enemies to know just how far I've come since I started writing.

12.) Do you think you'll ever stop writing fanfiction, personally?

I’ll keep writing until I have nothing more to write about. When the bunnies stop biting at my ankles and I have no more voices in my head, then I'll consider it.

13.) Worst fic you have ever read?

I have to choose?  There are so many of those that it's not remotely amusing anymore.

14.) Storylines you are tired of seeing?
Abusive!Lucius.  Stupid!Sirius. Snape needing a hug and a kiss to fix all his problems.  Sparrington slash. 

15.) Storylines you might like to see?

*ticks off wish-list* There should be more Xanatos fic, more good Marquis de Carabas fic, more paternal Lucius fic, any F'ryan Coblebay fic at all, and more fics wherein Sirius shows signs of being a pureblood-raised wizard with some measure of intelligence.

16.) Have you ever come across a respectable OC?
Yes, actually. There have been a few good Norrington/OC fics as well as one created by Arkaidy and the excellent OC main character of Blood of Avalon.  And, of course, last but certainly not least, there is Lady Rhiyana's Luc Malfoy, who is so entrenched in my mind as a character that I sometimes forget he's an OC.

17.) When you review, do you admit to sometimes flaming?

No. If I can’t say something nice, I don’t say anything at all. So there are a lot of times when I don’t say anything… Of course, I am a lazy reviewer and there are some times I just couldn’t be bothered.

18.) Any story plans tucked away for the future?
At least one major epic fic, with possibly some smaller ones in the works, along with whatever oneshots force their way through my fingers to the keyboard.

19.) Fantasy or anime?

Both.

20.) Good friends among writers/readers?

Um-hm. Thank heaven for internet friends who understand my obsession with fictional characters. In RL, I am still in the fanfic closet.
21.) Do you ever use poetry, lyrics, or quotes to emphasize your story?

Not particularly, although I can think of several songs that would fit certain characters perfectly.

23.) Ever met anyone from your fandom circles?
No. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not. It would certainly be interesting.

25.) Where/how do most of your ideas/plots/storylines come to you?

A mental image. A line of dialogue/conversation. Half-remembered dreams. It helps if I hypnotise myself with extremely loud music.

26.) Ever written a self-insert?

No - I've never really been much on OCs, preferring to work with canon characters instead.

27.) Off the top of your head, a fic or author with great characterization?

Lady Rhiyana, Aragonite, Seirios Aster, and Robin Lady.  I've seen quite a few others but I can't really recall without looking them up.

28.) Ever written or thought about writing a lemon?

Thought about it, but never actually done so.

29.) Ever been introduced to a whole new fandom following the whims of a favorite author?

I was intrigued enough once to try out the Rurouni Kenshin manga and anime and may have to do so again with Bleach.  Nothing, however, could induce me to watch Inuyasha.

30.) Do you like to write songfics?

Sometimes I use some lyrics as the base inspiration for a fic, but I don’t do songfics.

31.) How do you feel about alternate universes?

AUs are great fun. Some of them are genuinely fascinating. As long as the characters remain IC, I’m happy to follow a good author into another world. Sometimes they can be just as rich and real as canon.

32.) Got a favorite alternate universe?

The Unbroken Universe and the Jack to the Future-verse

33.) Do you believe you will ever write professionally?

I would love to. Just not at the moment. Original fic is so much harder than borrowing someone else’s hard work…

34.) Ever stay up to insane hours read/writing fanfiction?

Not specifically to read fanfic - the house is too open and certain family members need to sleep.


Random quiz
Altair advice
shadowwraith99

Your result for The Alignment Test ...

True/Pure Neutral

54% Good, 52% Chaotic

True/Pure Neutral

Plane of Existence: The Outlands, "Plane of Concordant Opposition". Description: The plane between all other outer planes.

Examples of True Neutrals (Ethically Neutral, Morally Neutral)

Red XIII, "Nanaki" (FFVII)
Vincent Valentine (FFVII)
Cid Highwind (FFVII)
Mr. Spock
Linus Torvalds
Dr. Strangelove
Scott Evil
Batman
The Punisher
Switzerland
Canada

Not actively for or against anything. Has his or her own reasons for doing everything. Usually difficult to understand.

Will keep their word if in their best interest
May attack an unarmed foe
May use poison
May help those in need
May work with others
Indifferent to higher authority
Indifferent to organizations

True Neutral "Pure Neutral"
"Balancer"


Some neutral [people] commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They are of the true neutral alignment as described in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

A true neutral [person] sees good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. He advocates the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run.

Some true neutral [people] actively support balance in the world, and seek to avoid having any one side, law or chaos, good or evil, become too powerful over them or anyone else, and will work against whichever side is the most powerful. They tend to side with the underdog in any situation, and are often opportunistic in their actions.

True neutral is committed to the avoidance of extremes, and is non-judgemental.
Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):
0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic:Lawful-Evil
0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Evil
0-39% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Evil
40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Neutral
40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Neutral
61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Good
61-100% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Good
61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Good

Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • Good Distribution

    You scored 54% on Good, higher than 36% of your peers.

  • Chaotic Distribution

    You scored 52% on Chaotic, higher than 50% of your peers.


random quiz
Altair advice
shadowwraith99
                                <p><em>Your result for The Alignment Test...</em></p>
                                <h4>True/Pure Neutral</h4><p style="text-align:center"><img src="http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/6089902179792904303.jpeg" width="599" height="381" /></p>
                                <div><b>Plane of Existence</b>: The Outlands, "<i>Plane of Concordant Opposition</i>". Description: The plane between all other outer planes.
<br>
<img src="http://panther.is3.okcimg.com/users/122/718/12271922432043554246/mt428456046.jpg">
<br>
Examples of True Neutrals (Ethically Neutral, Morally Neutral)
<br>
<br>
Red XIII, "Nanaki" (FFVII)<br>
Vincent Valentine (FFVII)<br>
Cid Highwind (FFVII)<br>
Mr. Spock<br>
Linus Torvalds<br>
Dr. Strangelove<br>
Scott Evil<br>
Batman<br>
The Punisher<br>
Switzerland<br>
Canada
<br>
<br>
Not actively for or against anything. Has his or her own reasons for doing everything. Usually difficult to understand.
<br>
<br>
Will keep their word if in their best interest<br>
May attack an unarmed foe<br>
May use poison<br>
May help those in need<br>
May work with others<br>
Indifferent to higher authority<br>
Indifferent to organizations
<br>
<br><b>True Neutral "Pure Neutral"
<br>"Balancer"</b>
<br>
<br>Some neutral [people] commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They are of the true neutral alignment as described in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.
<br>
<br>A true neutral [person] sees good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. He advocates the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run.
<br>
<br>Some true neutral [people] actively support balance in the world, and seek to avoid having any one side, law or chaos, good or evil, become too powerful over them or anyone else, and will work against whichever side is the most powerful. They tend to side with the underdog in any situation, and are often opportunistic in their actions.
<br>
<br>True neutral is committed to the avoidance of extremes, and is non-judgemental.
<br>
<i><b>Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):</b></i>
<br><u>0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic:</u><a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=20&score1=0&score2=20&score3=0"><i>Lawful-Evil</i></a>
<br><u>0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=20&score1=50&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Neutral-Evil</i></a>
<br><u>0-39% Good, 61-100% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=20&score1=80&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Chaotic-Evil</i></a>
<br><u>40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=50&score1=20&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Lawful-Neutral</i></a>
<br><u>40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=50&score1=80&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Chaotic-Neutral</i></a>
<br><u>61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=80&score1=20&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Lawful-Good</i></a>
<br><u>61-100% Good, 40-60% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=80&score1=50&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Neutral-Good</i></a>
<br><u>61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic:</u> <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/describescore?testid=5273602979166955622&score0=80&score1=80&score2=0&score3=0"><i>Chaotic-Good</i></a></i></div><p><a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-alignment-test1">
                                Take The Alignment Test</a> at <a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/"><b style="color:#131313"><span style="color:#ac000c">H</span>ello<span style="color:#ac000c">Q</span>uizzy</b></a></p>

(no subject)
Minas Tirith
shadowwraith99
I miss Scotland beyond all measure.  I was there for a grand total of two days, and yet I find myself longing to return.  I miss the hills.  I miss the wind.  I miss the stone walls, and the valleys, and the sun setting on the harbor in Edinburgh in the evening.  I miss the blue skies, and the clear air, and the rain, and the mist.  I miss the feeling of being home - of feeling as if I had finally, finally come home after a long exile.  I miss the food.  I miss being old enough to drink.  I miss the cliffs, and the seagulls wheeling overhead.  I miss the accents.  I miss signs that say "Haste ye back" instead of "road closed ahead."  I miss being able to drive across the country in the space of a day.  I miss the history.  I miss knowing that the paths I am treading there are the same paths my ancestors walked hundreds of years before me.  This country can be wonderful - all of my family and friends are here, but this country can never, never truly be home after Scotland.  I was born in this country and raised here my entire life, but Scotland calls to me like a siren song that I have no will to ignore.  Nothing has ever felt so incredibly right as the moment that I spotted Scotland's shores - as if something inside me was dancing for joy.  England holds nothing for me; Ireland is fun but still not home.  Wales says "almost;" as if there is something there, but it holds none of the power over me that Scotland has and always will have.  I am reminded of that more than ever on rainy nights such as this one. 

(no subject)
Altair advice
shadowwraith99
You know, I'm half-convinced that somebody knows me entirely too well...

<p><img src="http://bluepyramid.org/ia/mnkv.jpg"><br>
<font face="Georgia, Georgia Ref, Book Antiqua, Garamond" size="5">
You're <i>Mother Night</i>!<br>
<font size="4">by Kurt Vonnegut</font><br>
<i><font size="3">Nobody knows what to believe about you, and you know least of all. You
spent most of your time convinced that the ends justify the means, but your means were,
well, downright mean! And the end is nigh. Meanwhile all you want is to travel back in
time, if not to change, then to just delight in the way it used to be. You are who you
pretend to be. Oh yes, you're the great pretender.</font><br>
<font size="2" face="Times New Roman"></i>
Take the <a href="http://bluepyramid.org/ia/bquiz.htm">Book Quiz</a>
at the <a href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid</a>.</font></font></p>

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