So, I've been taking a class on Buddhism this semester, and the class involves learning how to meditate. The only problem is that my ability to focus has been absolutely nil since the first day. I'm not sure if it's the group setting, or my inability to get comfortable, or some innate lack of patience in me, but I have yet to experience a meditation session where I haven't become restless, irritated at myself, or a combination of all of the above. This is rapidly becoming a point of frustration, since I used to be able to meditate quite successfully. Maybe it''s the fact that I can't meditate with anyone talking, no matter how soothingly, and I can't seem to make myself like Buddhist doctrine. I can't, for example, bring myself to cut off my connection with the living world and ignore all sound and sensation. I have no desire to - that energy is like lifeblood to me, and to live without it would be profoundly strange.
I've been accepted to George Washington University for the fall - now the question is how I will get there and whether or not I will chicken out at the unprecedented freedom and risk I will be taking.
Underhill and Deeper Still
- Meditation and such